Just Thought I'd Let You Know

I am excited to come home.



Like I said, I am excited to come home.
10 Days!

Awards Schma-wards

So a few months ago, I was at the lovely business of Hollywood Video where I went to go rent a movie. Every time I go there, they are having epic sales like 4 movies for $20, 3 for $9.99, or other deals that make it so you might as well buy them instead of rent them. So on one of the trips I made there, I purchased There Will Be Blood because it was highly reviewed by all the critics and I heard many good things about it.

Last night, Charlie, Austin, and I were bored so we popped it in to kill some time before attempting to sleep. It was about a man in the early 1900's who was trying to make a living by digging for oil.

It started of slow.

And finished that way.

I wouldn't say it was the worst movie I've ever seen, but I really don't feel it was very good at all. It was given so much hype and I just disagree with all the reviews for it. Hopefully the next movie I buy because of critical acclimation actually delivers.

There Will Be Blood
Derek's Grade: D-

Only If You're Bored

Tonight I wrote my last English paper ever and I am pretty proud of it. If you are bored and wish to read it, I am going to stick it in here. Do not feel obligated to read it, it is about four pages. It is about the best topic ever, Harry Potter. I had to analyze something, so I chose to talk about how Harry Potter is the best fiction franchise ever. Here it goes:

Webster’s Dictionary defines fiction as, “something invented by the imagination or feigned” (1). Fiction has been one of the most popular types of genres since entertainment began centuries ago. Over time there have been countless fictitious stories but none of them have been nearly as successful as the literature monopoly known as Harry Potter. Harry Potter has been successful in all aspects of fictional entertainment: literature, cinema, and cultural impact.
Harry Potter has been one of the largest successes in history of literature, but had to be built from the ground up, just as any other novel. In 1990, Joanne “JK” Rowling had the idea for a story about a boy wizard who must save the world, while on a train ride from Manchester to London. She had finished the first book in 1995, but it was not published in the United States until Scholastic Books picked it up two years later in 1997. The books continued to grow in popularity until she set her first sales record with the fourth book, selling 3,000,000 copies in the first 48 hours. She continued to write until finishing the much anticipated seventh and final book; where wrote on a bust in her hotel room at the Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh saying that she had finished the seventh book in that room on January 11, 2007. In the beginning, critics were very open to Rowling’s novels; saying that it had the potential of instant classic, even comparing it to Roald Dahl’s work. These high acclamations helped launch the books into stardom. As the novels continued to pour out, the criticism began to build. The critics became much harsher on Rowling, but that clearly did not slow the fans from buying them or Rowling and Harry’s success either.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone brought us into a mixed world full of magic and danger. In the series there is the normal human, or muggle, world that we know and live in today. In addition to our world, Rowling added a complete new world that was unknown to muggles and could only be accessed by magical folk, such as witches and wizards. In the very beginning of the novel we are introduced to the idea that Harry Potter must save the world from the evil Lord Voldemort. Along with this thrilling story line come many different themes that almost all readers can relate to. Rowling has admitted that her main theme in the novels was death; a point underlined, as the series progresses, by one or more characters being killed in each of the final four books. It also adds to it with Voldemort’s quest for immortality. This theme of death teaches children and reinforces to the rest of us that death is inevitable but we should do our best with the time given to us on Earth. The books are not totally dark, and are written in a Sherlock Holmes sense of mystery. With the enchanting mysteries in each book, it also discusses other relatable themes such as love, oppression, survival, as well as overcoming imposing odds. With these different themes teaching all readers different life lessons, it is no wonder that the books have been so successful.
As with most literary phenomenon’s, Harry Potter was to be turned into a cinematic classic. In October of 1998, “Warner Brother’s Pictures pictured the rights to the first two Harry Potter films for $2,000,000” (2). A big reason these films have been so triumphant is the attention to detail. In early stages of negotiating contracts for the movies, Rowling made it clear that she wanted to be heavily involved in the making of the films. One of her principal stipulations was the films be shot in Britain with an all-British cast, which has been adhered to strictly and paid off as can be seen. Along with the all British cast contributing to the success, the reprisal of all main characters, except for the death of Richard Harris (Dumbledore), has helped immensely. Emma Watson (Hermione) had once debated whether continuing on with the films but then decided to renew her contract, saying she could not bear to see anyone else take the role to the end. With only 63% of the films yet released, the franchise has already become one of the top film franchises of all time, passing huge blockbusters like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. At one time, Harry Potter had been atop the list, but the mega franchise of James Bond has risen past it again with a whopping twenty two movies, to Harry’s five (3). The last two books have yet to be released into film adaptations, but the last book will be divided into two films, an idea that originally was tossed around during filming of the fourth novel. With these much awaited last three films, it will likely send Harry and his friends soaring past James and his ladies, at least for the time being.
With so many different aspects to this series, it is no wonder that Harry Potter has become the mega hit we have come to know and love. “Harry Potter is now a global brand worth and estimated at $15 billion” (4). It has even become a dominant part of our society. Webster’s Dictionary has even added words deriving from Rowling’s books such as the term for non-magical folk, muggle. Fascination with the novels prompted the New York Times to create a separate best seller list for children’s literature in 2000. As of June 24, 2000, the novels had been on the list for 79 straight weeks; before the children’s literature list was even an option. With her best selling and award winning books, Rowling became the first ever billionaire author. Although many franchises have gained attractions such as rides at theme parks, or conventions; not many have been developed into full fledged theme parks. On May 31, 2007, Universal Orlando announced that it had secured the rights from Warner Bros. and Rowling to bring to us The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. The theme park is dedicating twenty acres to anything and everything Harry Potter, even the iconic Hogwarts Castle. The ground breaking began in 2007 and the completed project is expected sometime in 2010. With this exciting and anticipated addition, it is clear that up is the only place for this magical franchise to go.
With seven best-selling novels, five mega-blockbuster films, and a magical theme park in the works; Harry Potter is without-a-doubt the best fiction franchise this muggle world has ever seen. Not only has this series captured the attention and the hearts of young children, this pop culture phenomenon has exceeded expectations by almost anyone who gives it a chance. JK Rowling has done an impeccable job at creating a new world for anyone to enter, and anyone wishing to top her multi-billion dollar franchise is going to need more than just a flick of the wand.

Well there it is. If you made it to the end, please leave me a comment and let me know what you think I should add/subtract/keep the same.

Thanks.

Until Further Notice...

This is a general idea of what I have been showering in for the past few days; and will be continuing to shower in until further notice.


Awesome, right?

False.

I have to walk outside and over to this stinkin' hot, basically, port-o-showers. Once inside it is like a sauna, so once I finish showering and am drying off, I start sweating; defeating the whole purpose of the shower I just took. ASU better get crackin' at this whole no hot water for my building thing, cause not too many people are too pleased at the moment.

Just Trying To Do Some Laundry

So yesterday I was walking into my building yesterday and I noticed a note saying,

"Attention All PV East Residents: The hot water in the building will be shut off tomorrow from 4:00 am to 5:00 pm to fix a steam leak."

OK, sucks, but it is not the end of the world. I even went and swam after class this morning so I could shower at the gym and not feel gross all day. So I get back and am hanging with Charlie and Sineadh and I get a text from Austin:

"We don't have hot water until next week."

What? That is unbelievable. We go on Charlie's computer and there is an e-mail that reads(Sparknotes version):

"There have been some troubles with the repair of the steam leak and the hot water is not going to be able to be turned back on until further notice."

Until further notice? That is unacceptable! We have a few hundred people living in this building with no hot water! That means no showers, no water to wash your face, or even able to do laundry. They thought it would make up for it if they put two portable showers outside the building, kind of like a port-o-potty version of showers.

Austin, Charlie, Sineadh, and I were bored tonight so we decided to gather all our dirty clothes and drive around and find a laundromat. We went to four different laundromats and they were all closed! In a college town, how can there not be one decent 24 hour laundromat?

This day started out so productive, and ended completely ridiculous.

Days Are So Productive When Conscious

Today is Friday, a beautiful day and it has already been extremely productive. Now when I say it has been productive, I am comparing it to most Friday's, in which I spend a very good majority of it sleeping.

12:00 a.m. Rage
2:00 a.m. E-mail Mother
2:15 a.m. Get a 100% on a Communications quiz
2:40 a.m. Bed
8:15 a.m. Wake up
8:35 a.m. Accounting 231 (In which I rocked the hell out of a worksheet)
9:40 a.m. Math 210
10:25 a.m. Walk to the gym
10:40 a.m. Swim 1.5 miles
11:30 a.m. Shower (The hot water in our building is being turned off from 4:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. today. I know, right? Retarded.)
12:00 p.m. Get home, eat, Facebook, Blog, wait for Charlie and Sineadh to wake up so we can go to Tempe Market Place

Now I am going to go read Harry Potter while I wait for the sleeping beauties.
Productive, right?

Photoshop

So yesterday I downloaded a free version of Photoshop. I have been extremely bored in the past 24 hours and been playing with it. Here are some of my first creations:

Too Much Good Stuff con't.

So the other day I told you about Yogurtland and In-N-Out going into the same parking lot. This is proof that I wasn't kidding:


Check out that little gem through the drive-through window. A man was currently putting up the sign you can see in this picture and he said it was probably going to open in a week or so. Lets hope he is correct.

Here is another picture of Austin, Charlie, Sineadh, and I at the Cubs vs. Angels game we went to today. Angels dominated.

Goldfish

So the other day, my friend was trying to convince me that the goldfish catch phrase was something about moms letting kids eat them, but we all know that it is "The Snack That Smiles Back." So she went on YouTube and searched "Goldfish commercial." We were going through them, and found this.



I am not 100% sure what the heck it has to do with Goldfish, but I found it pretty hilarious. Sorry if you already saw this on my Facebook. Not my problem.

Too Much Good Stuff?

Commercials for Am-Pm may tell you that you can never have too much good stuff; but I am here to tell you that, that may very well be a possibility. When I first arrived in Tempe, Arizona, I was delighted to find an In-N-Out about a mile away from my dorm building so I would be able to satisfy my craving whenever I needed.

Going home periodically told me that Tempe was missing a crucial part in their food/dessert industry.

Frozen yogurt.

A few months ago they put in a place called Yogurtini, but it is not nearly as good as Yogurtland, Golden Spoon, or even Cherry on Top. But, when I was at home for spring break, Charlie and I checked to see what time Yogurtland was open til in the K-Scope, and we found some amazing news. They are building a Yogurtland in Tempe!

Now I know what you are thinking, "Derek, you called this Too Much Good Stuff? If that is the case, why were you saying earlier that you wish they had one?" Whoa, cool your jets turbo, I am getting there.

I then proceeded to my trusty Google Maps to see where it would be located. I plugged in the address, 555 N. Scottsdale Rd. and got this image.



Thanks to Google Earth, I can show you that it is going in the top right of this image(which really in that picture just looks like a dirt lot). With the help of the Paint application on my laptop, I am going to use my artistic skills to show you the reason it is not such a good thing.

(Click image to enlarge if you cannot read captions)

As you can see from the image, Yogurtland is going into the same parking lot as In-N-Out. Normally I would have been ecstatic about this information; but the fact that I make $7.25 an hour at The UPS Store makes it quite the opposite. In-N-Out and Yogurtland are probably two of my biggest weaknesses, and now that they are in the same spot, how can I turn one down while enjoying the other?

Dear UPS Store,

You can now feel free to re-direct my paychecks straight to In-N-Out and Yogurtland. There is just no need for me to even bother with them anymore.

Thanks,
Derek Gardner


Yogurtland: 1/2
In-N-Out: 1/2
Derek: 0

Chap Stick

Back in high school I went on the drug Acutane for my acne and since then chap stick has been basically my best friend, we have been as inseparable as Timon and Pumba. Name a stick, and I have most likely tried it. I have been through just about every brand and flavor.

If you are an avid chap stick user, you may use one stick and then lose it and then get around to buying on at your earliest convenience. When you find a flavor that sounds good at the moment you may buy it on a whim.

I, on the other hand, am an intense user.

I don't lose chap stick; I run out. My lips get extremely chapped all throughout the day and night. I know the good kinds of chap stick, what works, what tastes good, and what gets the job done. I enjoy a nice Vanilla Mint Chapstic(holla Lisa), but have been unlucky in finding them here in Arizona. At home, I know I can find them at the Walgreen's off Santa Margarita Pkwy(like I said, I'm intense).

Today, I realized I am running low on my newest stick of Burt's Bees. Normally, it wouldn't be a very big deal, I would just go out and buy a new stick and move on. When I thought of getting a new one, something hit me. I bought this stick over spring break, which was barely two weeks ago. That is not good.

Tonight, I have made the decision to try and "detox" off chap stick. Yes, I am well aware of how freaking ridiculous this sounds. I have decided to follow in the footsteps of all those coke whores, alcoholics, and inspiring celebrities; and change my life. So keep me in your thoughts as I try and cut chap stick out of my life.

O-Positive

I have to say, the human body is an amazing organ. Today, I had the pleasure of donating blood to the Red Cross. After I answered all the fun questions with topics such as paying for sex, paying for sex in Africa, or paying for drugs with sex; they proceeded to take a pint of my blood.

The human body contains on average 5.6 pints of blood at any one point in time. So it blows my mind that they can take out almost one-fifth of my blood supply and I can walk out of there as fine as can be.

Some other facts you may find interesting:
In one day, your blood travels nearly 12,000 miles.
Your heart beats around 35 million times per year.
Your heart pumps a million barrels of blood during the average lifetime.

Donating blood can save potentially up to three lives each time you do it. Along with the fact of knowing that you are one hell of a model American, donating blood comes with free grub. You are required to stay there 15 minutes after finishing and eat snacks and drink juice(if they ever have white grape peach juice, I highly recommend it).

So, go to redcross.org and find a blood drive somewhere in your area.

Orlando, Florida

Tonight I was cruising the Internet, doing my usual Facebook-Blogs-Weather routine. I have recently started re-reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in honor of the movie coming out this summer and something dawned on me. A few months back I heard of a Harry Potter land coming to Universal Studios, Orlando. So I went and typed into my trusty Google search engine: Harry Potter Orlando.

All of a sudden, magic happened. Check for yourself: http://www.universalorlando.com/harrypotter/

The only bad thing about this website is that it is extremely vague on when the resort is going to open. It says it will open in 2010. It fails to mention early, late, middle, any season, any month, anything!

Charlie and I have decided that we are saving up and going. So come along.

Curse You Arm & Hammer

So tonight, I was trying to just brush my teeth like my mother taught me so well to do. She taught me to scrub twice a day for two minutes and floss, but she failed to teach me to fend off my toothpaste if it ever got the chance to strike.

I got out my Sonicare and Arm & Hammer Total Care and was prepared to take on some plaque. I put the toothpaste on my brush and all of a sudden, POW!

The bristles of my brush, along with the paste decided to double-team my left retina. It burned for a good thirty seconds. I was blind-sided.

This is an police sketch of the crime scene.

















I will continue to plot my revenge.

Toothpaste: 1
Derek: 0

Really, Arizona? Really?!?

So, for all of you that are not currently residing in Arizona; I have some news for you. I don't really know why I have waited til' now to write about this, but that is beside the point. I was just walking back from my math class and I saw about seven or eight guys in denim shorts. Now you may be thinking, "Well Derek, jean cut-offs are becoming quite stylish." Whoa, whoa, reader I know. Don't worry. These are not your typical jean cutoffs that you see all the indie kids wearing. These are legit I-went-to-a-store-and-bought DENIM SHORTS. I don't really know what the huge infatuation with them is, I am thinking maybe since it gets so hot here they don't get to wear jeans much, so they figured they would make up for it? Regardless of what they think, they look ridiculous.

But, really Arizona? Really?!?

Different States = Different Worlds

Approximately three hours ago, Austin and I returned from a weekend trip to Utah to visit my love Aubrey, and do some snowboarding. We went snowboarding one day and then did some bowling and IHOP action. The next day, we just relaxed and hung out all day. That night, we went to a house party about half an hour away. At this party I experienced something quite hilarious.

Coming to ASU I was well aware of what I was getting myself into. Here, parties are typical of what you might expect out of college: red cups everywhere, beer pong, some music, people hanging out, dumps of houses, and getting busted by the cops. So going to the party that night I had no expectations of it being much different than that.

(Side note)
Utah needs to re-evaluate how they design their roads. Almost all of them are numbers, not like 1st Ave, 22nd St, 3rd Rd. They go up into the tens of thousands! For example, when you are driving down the freeway you pass streets like 9800 No. and 12500 So. How are you supposed to remember all those different streets? Then when we were driving to this party it was inside a little gated community. This community had normal street names, but one major flaw. They thought it would be easy to navigate by changing the second name in the street. The main road through the community is called Pepperwood Dr, and we were told that the party we were going to was #4 Pepperwood. So we drove up and down that street three times and couldn't find any sight of a party. Finally we got a hold of someone and they said, "Yeah, the party is at #4 Pepperwood Pointe." Sorry, what? We are on Pepperwood Drive. So we just drove around feeling like idiots for fifteen minutes because some incompetent people named the streets.
(End side note)

We got to the party and it was in a huge house. We got inside and it was one of the nicest houses I have ever seen. It was almost 10,000 square feet and was actually for sale for 1.7 million dollars. Inside the party it looked like your typical party. People everywhere, people dancing, drinking, and some food here and there. We went downstairs and there was a sick DJ, with tons more people dancing in the basement. When it started to die down, I realized that people were drinking, but there were drinking soda. People were dancing, but they weren't basically having sex while dancing. It looked like a typical college party at first but when you looked closer people weren't being the typical idiots that you find at parties. We found four beers during the whole time we were there, and the cops never came.

I wish more people could be like the people that were at this party. It was a great time and the people who owned the house were not nervous to open up their house to hundreds of kids. I'm not saying to not drink, I just think it would be rad if people could not be idiots for a change.