Too Much Good Stuff con't.

So the other day I told you about Yogurtland and In-N-Out going into the same parking lot. This is proof that I wasn't kidding:


Check out that little gem through the drive-through window. A man was currently putting up the sign you can see in this picture and he said it was probably going to open in a week or so. Lets hope he is correct.

Here is another picture of Austin, Charlie, Sineadh, and I at the Cubs vs. Angels game we went to today. Angels dominated.

Goldfish

So the other day, my friend was trying to convince me that the goldfish catch phrase was something about moms letting kids eat them, but we all know that it is "The Snack That Smiles Back." So she went on YouTube and searched "Goldfish commercial." We were going through them, and found this.



I am not 100% sure what the heck it has to do with Goldfish, but I found it pretty hilarious. Sorry if you already saw this on my Facebook. Not my problem.

Too Much Good Stuff?

Commercials for Am-Pm may tell you that you can never have too much good stuff; but I am here to tell you that, that may very well be a possibility. When I first arrived in Tempe, Arizona, I was delighted to find an In-N-Out about a mile away from my dorm building so I would be able to satisfy my craving whenever I needed.

Going home periodically told me that Tempe was missing a crucial part in their food/dessert industry.

Frozen yogurt.

A few months ago they put in a place called Yogurtini, but it is not nearly as good as Yogurtland, Golden Spoon, or even Cherry on Top. But, when I was at home for spring break, Charlie and I checked to see what time Yogurtland was open til in the K-Scope, and we found some amazing news. They are building a Yogurtland in Tempe!

Now I know what you are thinking, "Derek, you called this Too Much Good Stuff? If that is the case, why were you saying earlier that you wish they had one?" Whoa, cool your jets turbo, I am getting there.

I then proceeded to my trusty Google Maps to see where it would be located. I plugged in the address, 555 N. Scottsdale Rd. and got this image.



Thanks to Google Earth, I can show you that it is going in the top right of this image(which really in that picture just looks like a dirt lot). With the help of the Paint application on my laptop, I am going to use my artistic skills to show you the reason it is not such a good thing.

(Click image to enlarge if you cannot read captions)

As you can see from the image, Yogurtland is going into the same parking lot as In-N-Out. Normally I would have been ecstatic about this information; but the fact that I make $7.25 an hour at The UPS Store makes it quite the opposite. In-N-Out and Yogurtland are probably two of my biggest weaknesses, and now that they are in the same spot, how can I turn one down while enjoying the other?

Dear UPS Store,

You can now feel free to re-direct my paychecks straight to In-N-Out and Yogurtland. There is just no need for me to even bother with them anymore.

Thanks,
Derek Gardner


Yogurtland: 1/2
In-N-Out: 1/2
Derek: 0

Chap Stick

Back in high school I went on the drug Acutane for my acne and since then chap stick has been basically my best friend, we have been as inseparable as Timon and Pumba. Name a stick, and I have most likely tried it. I have been through just about every brand and flavor.

If you are an avid chap stick user, you may use one stick and then lose it and then get around to buying on at your earliest convenience. When you find a flavor that sounds good at the moment you may buy it on a whim.

I, on the other hand, am an intense user.

I don't lose chap stick; I run out. My lips get extremely chapped all throughout the day and night. I know the good kinds of chap stick, what works, what tastes good, and what gets the job done. I enjoy a nice Vanilla Mint Chapstic(holla Lisa), but have been unlucky in finding them here in Arizona. At home, I know I can find them at the Walgreen's off Santa Margarita Pkwy(like I said, I'm intense).

Today, I realized I am running low on my newest stick of Burt's Bees. Normally, it wouldn't be a very big deal, I would just go out and buy a new stick and move on. When I thought of getting a new one, something hit me. I bought this stick over spring break, which was barely two weeks ago. That is not good.

Tonight, I have made the decision to try and "detox" off chap stick. Yes, I am well aware of how freaking ridiculous this sounds. I have decided to follow in the footsteps of all those coke whores, alcoholics, and inspiring celebrities; and change my life. So keep me in your thoughts as I try and cut chap stick out of my life.

O-Positive

I have to say, the human body is an amazing organ. Today, I had the pleasure of donating blood to the Red Cross. After I answered all the fun questions with topics such as paying for sex, paying for sex in Africa, or paying for drugs with sex; they proceeded to take a pint of my blood.

The human body contains on average 5.6 pints of blood at any one point in time. So it blows my mind that they can take out almost one-fifth of my blood supply and I can walk out of there as fine as can be.

Some other facts you may find interesting:
In one day, your blood travels nearly 12,000 miles.
Your heart beats around 35 million times per year.
Your heart pumps a million barrels of blood during the average lifetime.

Donating blood can save potentially up to three lives each time you do it. Along with the fact of knowing that you are one hell of a model American, donating blood comes with free grub. You are required to stay there 15 minutes after finishing and eat snacks and drink juice(if they ever have white grape peach juice, I highly recommend it).

So, go to redcross.org and find a blood drive somewhere in your area.

Orlando, Florida

Tonight I was cruising the Internet, doing my usual Facebook-Blogs-Weather routine. I have recently started re-reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in honor of the movie coming out this summer and something dawned on me. A few months back I heard of a Harry Potter land coming to Universal Studios, Orlando. So I went and typed into my trusty Google search engine: Harry Potter Orlando.

All of a sudden, magic happened. Check for yourself: http://www.universalorlando.com/harrypotter/

The only bad thing about this website is that it is extremely vague on when the resort is going to open. It says it will open in 2010. It fails to mention early, late, middle, any season, any month, anything!

Charlie and I have decided that we are saving up and going. So come along.

Curse You Arm & Hammer

So tonight, I was trying to just brush my teeth like my mother taught me so well to do. She taught me to scrub twice a day for two minutes and floss, but she failed to teach me to fend off my toothpaste if it ever got the chance to strike.

I got out my Sonicare and Arm & Hammer Total Care and was prepared to take on some plaque. I put the toothpaste on my brush and all of a sudden, POW!

The bristles of my brush, along with the paste decided to double-team my left retina. It burned for a good thirty seconds. I was blind-sided.

This is an police sketch of the crime scene.

















I will continue to plot my revenge.

Toothpaste: 1
Derek: 0

Really, Arizona? Really?!?

So, for all of you that are not currently residing in Arizona; I have some news for you. I don't really know why I have waited til' now to write about this, but that is beside the point. I was just walking back from my math class and I saw about seven or eight guys in denim shorts. Now you may be thinking, "Well Derek, jean cut-offs are becoming quite stylish." Whoa, whoa, reader I know. Don't worry. These are not your typical jean cutoffs that you see all the indie kids wearing. These are legit I-went-to-a-store-and-bought DENIM SHORTS. I don't really know what the huge infatuation with them is, I am thinking maybe since it gets so hot here they don't get to wear jeans much, so they figured they would make up for it? Regardless of what they think, they look ridiculous.

But, really Arizona? Really?!?