Curse You Arm & Hammer

So tonight, I was trying to just brush my teeth like my mother taught me so well to do. She taught me to scrub twice a day for two minutes and floss, but she failed to teach me to fend off my toothpaste if it ever got the chance to strike.

I got out my Sonicare and Arm & Hammer Total Care and was prepared to take on some plaque. I put the toothpaste on my brush and all of a sudden, POW!

The bristles of my brush, along with the paste decided to double-team my left retina. It burned for a good thirty seconds. I was blind-sided.

This is an police sketch of the crime scene.

















I will continue to plot my revenge.

Toothpaste: 1
Derek: 0